


Sorry That I Love You

by Yoan_Amara



Series: Love Song Series [28]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Denial, F/M, Heated desire, Hugging, Kissing, Mild Sexual Content, Rejection, Separation, make out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 21:43:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18646666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoan_Amara/pseuds/Yoan_Amara
Summary: Taken place on chapter 117. During Sei arc, Yona and Lily run away from the fort. While they are running away from the Sei's soldiers that pursue them, instead of Sei soldiers, they are found by Soo Won and the Generals. Before Yona goes back to her companion, what might have happened between her with Soo Won and the Generals?





	Sorry That I Love You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scarlet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet/gifts).



> Hai hai, I’m so sorry this took a rather long time. I was writing this while listening to ‘Sorry That I Loved You’ by Anthony Neely and ‘Hati Yang Terpilih’ by Rossa. Somehow, the song really got into me when I wrote this while listening to the song and thanks to that, I could finish this. I recommend the song if you haven’t heard those two love songs yet, it’s really good song.

Even if Yona and Lily have succeeded to run away from the fort, they still have to run away from the Sei's soldiers. Lily carries Yona on her back because Yona's leg is injured, after she gets shot by an arrow. Yona has asked her to leave her but Lily refuses, reasoning that she’s not making any sense. Like the hell she’d leave her here alone. She has to protect Yona, or else she would not forgive herself for not able to protect her beloved friend.

When they hear the commotion from far distance, like some people fight against each other, Lily puts Yona down and hides Yona behind the bushes to protect her. She hugs Yona tightly and kisses Yona’s forehead. They heard footsteps approach behind them and Lily spreads her hands to the side. It turns out that General Geun Tae is the one who find them.

“General Geun Tae?!”, Lily cries in relief before she kneeling on the ground “why are you—”.

Still in his mind state from confusion of why Princess Yona is here with Lily, Geun Tae grabs Lily’s wrist before carrying her on his arms, explaining why and what is he doing here “just now we were attacked by some Sei soldiers, but we have gotten rid of them”.

When Soo Won and Joo Doh come into the view. Soo Won asks Geun-Tae to take care of Lily. Kneeling in front of Yona, Soo Won reaches out his hand “let’s leave with us for now and trust us”.

Yona bats his hand and refuses before standing despite her injured leg “needn’t, I’ll be on my way”.

Knowing what have been happened between them, it’s perfectly normal reaction. Even though she’s already on Geun-Tae's arms, Lily struggles, saying that she also doesn't want to leave without Yona but Geun-Tae hold her tight.

“really, Lily. I’m alright. I’m glad you’ll be fine on their care”, Yona smiles before sending glare to Soo Won “but I don’t trust **them** ”.

Looking to her unsteady gaits, Soo Won tries to reason with her “look, if you could take care of yourself, maybe I will let you go but this is not the right time to be stubborn. Come with us and we will help you to find your companions”.

“NO”, Yona sternly glares and retorts, walking away with her shaky legs “I could take care of myself just fine”.

Yona's stubbornness really gets into Soo Won’s nerves and Soo Won starts losing his control “if you go with this condition, you’ll die?! Do you really want to die that badly!?”.

“I know. If I’ll lose, then I’d die, so be it”, Yona looks behind over her shoulder “but if I win, I’d live and survive”.

Soo Won grabs her wrist and turns her body, cornering her to the rough surface of tree’s bark. With her back pressing on the bark of tree, Yona’s eyes widen when Soo Won kisses her. He breaks the kiss, cupping her cheeks only to let her know “...sorry, that I love you”.

Yona is too shocked by what does he say just now. She starts crying when Soo Won pulls Yona into a hug then kiss her again passionately. Slowly, he slides his sinful tongue down into her mouth after licking her lips as she moans in pleasure, still crying.

Geun-Tae gawks, still holding Lily on his hands. He doesn’t believe his own eyes. The King that has been just blushing and dismissing all the argument about his relationship with Lily, now is kissing the missing princess Yona maturely? He really doesn’t expect to see Soo Won can also be a hidden-hungry-wolf.

Lily is conflicted. While she knows how Yona feels to Soo Won, she doesn’t think this is the right thing to do after Soo Won has killed Yona’s father. Looking to how her friend is crying, she yells in dismay “wait, stop!? You couldn’t just go and kiss her just like that when she clearly doesn’t like it until she’s crying like this?!”.

“thank you very much for your kind words, Lady Lily”, Joo Doh grumbles in irritation of what Soo Won has done, halting his own argue to yell at Soo Won “anyway, we need to leave as soon as possible”.

After the heated kiss and nice interruption from Joo Doh, Soo Won carries Yona on his arms before taking her into his tent (King's personal tent) while Lily will be in his father's tent to have a proper treatment. In his tent, Soo Won looks up to Yona after Yona has cleaned up herself. She gers new kimono after washing her body, but she still has to treat her wounds.

“sit”, Soo Won orders. When he gains her glare as if she’s saying how dare he ordered her, clearly feeling displeasure of his attitude, Soo Won sighs “we need to treat your wound. I will do it since everyone’s busy and you’re in my tent already”.

Grudgingly, Yona sits down on the edge of his bed. Soo Won takes Yona’s injured leg and starts treating the wound on her leg. Yona feels nervous, fidgeting with her fingers as Soo Won’s fingers continue to touch her, to linger on her leg.

“close your eyes, I’m gonna dab your eyelid”, Soo Won looks up, lifting the wet rag to dab her eyelid where she has gotten the injury when she has protected Lily from get whipped by Sei soldier. Soo Won slides her bangs to behind her ear, looking down with a frown “...it’s swollen”.

“I don’t understand...”, Yona mutters, turning her head to the side “actually... what did you do this, Soo Won? What for? You wouldn’t get any advantage of me anymore?! You already have everything, that you have stolen from me?! You are the King, you have Hiryuu Castle, you have loyal bodyguards and so many soldiers, so why... why did you do this to me? If you want to disgrace me, congratulation, you did it?! If in the end you only will hurt me and abandon me, you do not need to—”.

Before Yona can finish her words, Soo Won cuts her off with claiming her lips. He has to tell her to clarify and clear everything “I’m so sorry, that I love you. I’m so sorry, that I hurt you. For everything I have done to you, I just wanted to make it right. I’m so sorry, that I needed you. I’m so sorry, that I'm falling in love with you”.

Yona blinks away her tears again. Why? Why does he so cruel? Why does he have to confess it to her after what he has done to her father? Why... he has to tell her everything she has wanted to hear that time?

“for all of the times that I tried for your smile, for making you think that I was worth the while so your love would be mine, for sending you flowers and holding your hand on your sleep... I tried to make that no one was there to take a stand but in the end, I am the one that taught you how to cry. I’m so sorry that I hurt you, that I held you tight on Awa”, Soo Won wraps his arm around her shoulder, what he can offer now is only his apologize as he leaning his head to her shoulder “but then love makes me blind, it is love which passed us by—”.

Soo Won’s eyes widen when Yona wraps her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to her level and kiss him. It’s Yona who starts the kiss but Soo Won takes the lead after that. The desire stirs them crazy. Soo Won gently lifts her injured leg and kisses the injury on her leg. Looking up to find her blush, Soo Won kisses her swollen eyelid, cupping her cheek before licking her swollen eyelid. Yona feels shuddering under her breath and she feels like all of energy within her body have fled from her body. Pushing her down to his bed, Soo Won kisses her neck, up to her face. He kisses her cheeks, forehead, eyelids before kissing her torridly on her lips. He licks her lips before he slides his tongue into her mouth. She moans as he slides his hand into her kimono, groping her breast and revealing her cleavage. Settling her on his lap, Soo Won kisses her nape, sucking it to leave the kissmark.

But then they have to stop because Joo Doh flips the tent, burst into the tent with grinned Geun Tae in tow.

Soo Won scowls, looking behind over his shoulder and hiding Yona who quickly repairs her kimono which revealing her cleavage “where’s your manner, Generals?”.

Joo Doh confirms that he has intended to call him from outside the tent with Geun Tae because they have an important news but then they hear a woman moans in pleasure “if you want to do it, please do it when we go back at home?!”.

Geun-Tae is there to report that they have found the fort and ready to conquer, but he doesn’t miss the kissmarks which visible on Yona's nape “so... I guess we would get to see the Queen soon?”.

Yona pushes Soo Won away from her until Soo Won drops to the floor. She is too shocked. What has she been doing when right this time, maybe Hak and the others are all still in danger in Sei fort?

Suddenly, Hak’s bright smile appears on her mind along with guilt on her heart. Hak’s rage on Sensui and how he’s cried for the first tim in front of her only strengthen her guilt. What Hak has told her that night, Hak’s sincere words ringing within her head _“princess, if you can be happy, then to me, that is the greatest happiness”_.

This is not right. This is not the right place. This is not the right time. This is not the right thing to do. Her tears threaten to fall.

It’s like the cruel fate playing with her, it’s been always like this. His name is carved on her heart, touching her deepest heart. She doesn’t expect this. In her words, she using her feelings. Her love within her hate. Actually, she still loves him. What have been happened within their love, to refuse and deny to admit it, is only because of their pride. Only her who know that the love blooming for him does still exist. Even if she realizes that she’s in love with Hak now, she still loves Soo Won. That man is still inside her heart and she’s been in denial. If her heart can choose, she wants to welcome this love and return this feeling but the end of the story of their love is only decided by their hearts. This is the forbidden love. He can’t love her along with guilt. She can’t love him along with hate. They aren’t meant to be together, no matter how the blossoms of love still hope apprehensively. Not after he betrayed her, killed her father, stole the throne and the castle, her home and make her heart shattered into pieces. Not again. She can’t take more heartache from him anymore. She can’t dishonor her father’s last wishes further. She can’t betray Hak, of all people.

“it would never happen, ever?!”, Yona glares to Geun Tae before asking Soo Won to give back her previous belongings and bring her to the fort “my companion would be there so you could just finish your business and I would leave with my companion”.

Soo Won rises and shouts in disbelief “you couldn’t go to the fort with us!? It’s too dangerous!?”.

“oh, and don’t tell me what kind of dangerous thing I would get into!? It no longer scare me after my life is in danger many times outside the Castle after I saw my father was murdered in front of my eyes!? What;’s more dangerous than that, huh?!”, Yona challenges him, standing tall “just lend me a bow with arrows and dagger, I could defend myself with that and I would just throw it away back to your subordinates once I meet my companion, or just let me leave now despite being unarmed”.

Soo Won is about to argue her further and Yona gets off Soo Won’s bed, walking away “fine then, I’ll be on my way”.

“wait, wait, wait!?”, Soo Won grabs her wrist but she bats his hand again. Sighing in frustration, Soo Won turns to Geun Tae and Joo Doh “please, bring Elder Mundok here”.

Earning Yona’s questioning glare, Soo Won explains “until we find your companion, Elder Mundok will accompany you. You’re okay with that, right?”, turning back to Geun Tae and Joo Doh “now, leave us. I need to talk with her for a while until Elder Mundok comes to pick her”.

Joo Doh feels dubious “but—”.

“leave us”, Soo Won orders “I wouldn’t do anything to her anymore, promise”.

After Joo Doh and Geun Tae leave, Soo Won turns to her and smiles sadly “sorry, for wasting your time. I’m hoping ‘I’m sorry’ will open your mind to love in your life”.

“I would, but it would not be the same anymore, not after what you did. It would not be you, the one that I love in my life, not anymore”, Yona smiles bittersweetly “I’m so sorry, too... for making you love me and saying goodbye, for giving you everything that you dreamed and for taking it back when I fled the scene, but an apology now after all of this time... it won’t make any difference because sorry doesn’t turn back time”.

Silence and tense, misery and yearning fulfill their distance as they wait in the tent. Yona sits on the edge of the bed as Soo Won sits on the chair across her, keeping their distance and restrain themselves from whatever they feel. When Mundok comes into the tent to pick her, Yona throws herself to his tight embrace. Mundok stares to Soo Won warily before bringing Yona to outside. On the fort, Mundok asks her to stay with Lily on the safe distance with Tetora protect them closely. Ayura joins her not too long after she finds Lily is okay with Yona and Tetora.

After the battle have finished, Yona finds the only one she’s been looking for “HAK?!”.

Hak snaps his head. Yun and Four Dragon Warriors behind him. Yona feels her tears flowing freely when Hak pulls her into his tight embrace, crying in relief as she clenches her hands, fisting the fabric of his back.

“ssh, it’s alright, princess. You’re safe, it’s fine, you’re safe already”, Hak shushes her, frowning as he feels her small body trembling within his arm “we’re so sorry... I’m so sorry, I should have come sooner...”.

“it’s alright, Hak... just...”, Yona sniffs and inhales his masculine scent and the warmth of his broad chest, making sure he’s here, blinking her tears away and closing her eyes slowly as she leans her head on his chest “just hug me for a while... stay by my side, don’t go...”.

“of course, I will”, Hak smiles sadly before lifting his head. Looking up to find Mundok, Tae Woo and Han Dae, Hak smiles thankfully to them before carrying Yona on his arms bridal style “let’s go. We have to find the safe place to rest”.

Yun nods his head “once we find the place, I will check on her”.

“Hak”.

Hak hums, looking down to her “yes?”.

She still feels guilty crushing her gut, but now she’s here, safe within his arms. She closes her eyes before wrapping her arms around her torso, burying her face on his shoulder “...I’m home, guys”.

Not knowing exactly what has happened, Hak sighs in relief. She’s back, that’s all the matter.

Re-positioning her on his arms and patting her back, Hak smiles as Jae Ha and the others also welcome her back with their own way “welcome back, princess”.

Looking to Yona’s group departure, Soo Won smiles in utter pain “sorry, that I love you. Goodbye, Yona”.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry if this is not like what you want but I have no better idea than I put here. Also, who the hell put the onions here T^T  
> I make them separated here in the end because I thought this is what would happen if the AU happened and I tried to write them IC


End file.
